Nifty widgets that connect to the internet are only of use as a time killing device when there is an actual signal for them to connect to the internet over. I would like to take this opportunity to tell you that there is, in fact, virtually no signal whatsoever available for the duration of the Bournemouth to Derby train journey.

I would like to tell you, but I can't because there is no signal, so I can't connect to the internet.

Meanwhile, I remain slightly surprised to find myself making a four and a half hour journey in order to go and watch a 15 minute film. Yes, that's right - it's the Derby premiere of Nothing Travels Faster Than Bad News. More on that later.