1. Your morning routine is:
- get up
- turn computer on
- check and reply to emails
- check and reply to messageboards
- shower
- breakfast
In that order.

2. The numbers 24/7 fill you with a suffusion of joy, and yet the nearest all-night garage is miles away.

3. Your neighbours, whom you’ve only met twice in three years, worry that you’re not getting out enough.

4. You work for an internet start-up which entails working long hours, mainly online. When you get any spare time at all, you spend it… online.

5. Your biggest fear about flying to San Francisco is how on earth you’re going to cope without the internet for 14 hours.

6. The fact that they have 18mbps broadband in Japan seems like a perfectly adequate reason for moving there.

7. You have become adept at calculating time differences and know instantly exactly what time of day it is in any part of the world. The figures -8 and +9.5 are particularly important to you.

8. What used to be ‘TV dinners’ have now become ‘internet dinners’, and you only cook dishes that can be eaten with a fork alone, because that leaves you one hand free to type.

9. You regularly *emote* in your hand-written letters.

10. You have a list of Ten Signs That Your Internet Dependency Is Getting Out Of Hand, all of which apply directly to you.

Right… I’m off for some cold turkey. Anyone coming?